Growing thankfulness

Like Paul the apostle I can say that I am (was?) "the worst of them all" yet grace made a way for me. I was just as wretched and miserable...even though I didn't know it. God redeemed me through faith in Jesus Christ.

But unlike Paul, I am not in the habit of rejoicing in every circumstance; oh no! I'm afraid I am too quick to be dissatisfied, criticizing even the things I claim to have loved and enjoyed so much. My heart, I must admit, is too easily drawn towards feelings of resentment, bitterness, and discontent. When I am brooding, thinking too much-meditating-on the wrong things, it is no wonder that life can seem a mess; overwhelmingly uncertain, ridden with mistakes...etc.

Without even going into the reproach of the dire need to continually meditate on God's Word; without negating the necessity of that discipline, I have to say that I can be grateful that my born-again spirit will not long tolerate such meditations in silence. Soon and very soon, I am reminded of the existence and entity of an awesome loving Father: and that there is consequently so much to be grateful for. Yes, even in the worst of all situations; there is always something to be grateful for: something good to thank the Lord for, at the very least the fact that I have the hope of becoming a better version of me-SANCTIFICATION.

Indeed, it is good to go back to the basics; life, food, clothes, whole body parts, shelter, loved ones; and if you break those down, you will almost begin to realize the many minute details that are taken care of daily without your say-so/direction. On yours and my worst day, let us remember that GOD HAS IT-all of IT. It may not seem like it sometimes, but the King of kings is still on His throne.

So, what if we begun to grow the habit of thankfulness? Counting our blessings? Notice my use of the word "habit" as opposed to feeling "thankful". People have suggested making lists of answered prayers and such, to have an easy record of the good things in life to be grateful for. I don't have such a list, but with my tendency to be dissatisfied, maybe I should have one.I need to frequently be reminded-and so do you-of the good things; the better situations in life. It is healthier for both your body and soul. Ungratefulness, discontent, complaining and all those vices only diminish the life in us: our bodies and hearts can only tolerate such poison for a while before all begins to surface, to our own detriment.

Yes, I am unlike the apostle Paul, who rejoiced and wrote words of encouragement to others while he himself sat in a cold prison dungeon, but like him, I am making the decision to look on the brighter side of things. What else is there for me to do? Jesus Christ himself pointed out in the gospel of Matthew 5:27, that none of us can add even a single day to our lives by worrying.g Once again, this lesson of being thankful has been renewed in my mind. And all that is left to say is: THANK GOD.

The Nature of God's Will

Definition: The will of God is simply what God wants or how He would have things be. Since the fall of man, the hearts of men have struggled with accepting the true Will of God. I say "true" will because so many wrong ideas of God's will have taken root in our hearts. Many believe it is God's will to be poor, sick, dying. To worship Him out of duty (religion) not love. We think God wants to hold us back, keep us from enjoying life.. (the life He gave us, meanwhile). Friends, these are all lies!! The devil's deception of Adam and Eve planted and reproduced in us all a distrust and therefore rebellion to the will of God; we became sinners.

This battle of the wills need not be! Romans 12:2 says that the will of God is GOOD and PLEASING and PERFECT. It is good becoz God is good. There is no evil in Him. It is pleasing becoz it is what we would all want if we knew what God knows. It is perfect- meaning you can't take away or add to it- becoz God remains the same all the time; unlike you and I, God doesn't change.

Yet, still we fear, resist and even rebel against God's will, because as I said earlier, we have a WRONG PERCEPTION of God. That is why as unbelievers, we try to make our own way into heaven. Or, we choose to believe it doesn't exist altogether. Then when we become Born Again, we still doubt God's goodness and mercy so we plead and beg in our prayers, and disobey our Father.

But what does God say? What is His will as revealed to us in the Bible? I have found a God that loves and wants to relate with man. A holy and merciful God; a just Father; a Savior, Advocate. He has good plans, not to harm but prosper us. He wants us to have abundant everlasting life!! This is our God. This is His will.
Let us discard all our misconceptions about God and look for His will in His Word. I have no doubt that as we do this; as we get to know God- His heart- we will know His Will, and find it to be good, pleasing to and perfect for us INDEED! AMEN.

God is no Respector of persons

In all your life have you ever felt like everybody else had it better than you? Like God's favor may be tips a little more to particular people than to you? I know I have! Friends have come over with great news of some impossible way God made things work out. We celebrate together and I am genuinely happy, though I can't help but think: Woah... What if THAT happened to me??? Wouldn't it be nice?
That train of thought easily goes down to "God, how come you never do stuff like that for me?! How come I never do anything powerful and newsworthy??"

ACTS 10:34 says that God is no respecter of persons. But what does that really mean? Because sometimes it seems like God does have favorites. I think it means:


1. God loves every man the same- which is unconditional. He loves me and you just as much as He loves Abraham, Moses, Samuel, David, Peter, Paul.. etc! Men (and women) that have greatly advanced the Gospel over the centuries: Smith Wigglesworth, Cathryn Kuhlman, Billy Graham... The "extremely" gifted and favored by God; He does not love them more than you and I. No. God's love does not prefer some over others!!

2. This means that we- God's children- are all blessed and favored by Him. Very often we look at other people, gauge their gifts, talents, success, life situations, and conclude that God favors them over us. We become envious because it really does look like God esteems some people over others. "Is God fair?"

In the Bible, God speaks to every individual saying, "I alone know the plans I have for YOU..." He promises that these plans are not to harm you and I, but to prosper us; to give us hope and a good future. Jeremiah 29:11. Every child of God is blessed, none greater than the other.
The key is that these blessings, gifts will manifest according to the Lord's (individual) plan for your life! Remember, He ALONE knows the [nature of the] good plans He has for you. Plus, how far are you willing to go to "decipher" these plans? The seemingly "more blessed" men are usually the guys that go the extra miles to seek God, know Him, then are able to manifest His power to the world.

3. God's standard of His Word is the same for all men. E.g. His Word does not hold me accountable for adultery and cuts another guy slack. He hates it, and that's that. The promises therein are for every believer to claim: healing, prosperity.. etc. Our greatest enemy in receiving them, however, is our own ignorance! The guy who knows that Jesus' death purchased divine health for him is the one whose faith won't let him tolerate sickness, but cast that mountain to where it belongs!

Our God is just, fair, and plans each of our lives way before our birth. He knows each of us INDIVIDUALLY. This thought is a great comfort when the unsettling envy begins to rear its ugly head.

That funny feeling...

The feeling that more is or will be required of you if you are to get to where you want to.
Do you know it? It's the pre-turning point moment. When you want something (at this point you've realized you REALLY have to have it!) and you come to the conclusion that none of the "old tricks" will do. That doing things average just won't suffice! No. For this, a lot more sacrifice will be required; a certain amount of forgetting-dying to-self.

It's a funny feeling; a thrilling slice of anticipation and trepidation. Because on one end your heart can hardly contain the idea of finally realizing your dream. Why, it will be magnificent, stupendous...nothing short of utter joy! To think that "it" could be yours!!! And on the other hand, are YOU up to it? Are you ready for the work? The hard journey of discipline, diligence and endurance?? And if need be, can you really march to the beat of a completely different drum? Pause.

When I was younger, this feeling usually plagued me toward exam time,and esp. in the candidate classes. The call to do more...and be more. That's when I felt it significantly :) + also the constant gnawing feeling that often filled my young heart with anxiety; the feeling of a need to "draw closer to God", without even knowing how...(shrug)...Maybe I just wasn't ready then.

Lately though, this funny feeling comes even more often. And I now realize that it is God Himself speaking. My Creator is calling me, drawing me out and using all the unique elements of life to grow me into the person He made me to be. He does this to/for all His children. It's all part of a process that, I must admit, sometimes fills me with fear and apprehension, cause it's always stretch after stretch; can't get too comfortable! He is transforming us into Someone completely different from all we've ever known and been.
J E S U S! It's a tall order, but very much possible.

So the next time that funny feeling comes, despite all the fear and uncertainty; let's you and I go AHEAD and let God work. We can trust the outcome. :)

Childhood dreams & Growing pains

As a kid I dreamed of being many things. First I wanted to be a nun. Guess that ship sailed when I had my 1st crush ;-) Number 2 was a bank manager-where the money is, right? Ha! As I got older-Secondary level-it became apparent that Maths wasn't my strong suit. The list went on to; actress, singer, dancer, poet, writer, great wife, super mum etc... ;-) Now of course some of those dreams have died; but some live on.

It's easy to dream when you're a kid. The future seems so far away and it's like you're never in control of your own life. All you can do is wait till you're older: "When I grow up..."
Well, the day comes when YOU can do something about it. YOU decide which road to take, and although you can't control the outcome, YOU are responsible for YOU.

Suddenly you're not a kid anymore. You can't throw a tantrum, tune the world out and blame your "wack" family for everything that's wrong with your life. No, coz growing up means taking responsibility for your actions. And all that stuff you hoped for as a kid...the time has now come for you to do something about it all.

Yep. It's easy to dream when you're a kid. It's easy to trust that it'll all work out. Then you grow up, and the set plan isn't working. You're not where you thought you'd be, and the pressure is on to make something of yourself. Will your path be set by everyone else's idea of success or will your "silly" childhood dreams become a reality?
I've heard it said often that some dreams are God-given, along with the talent, passion and qualification to achieve them.

I think growing up is about figuring out who we're meant to be. I have found that I can't do that on my own. I need a Guide; a Shepherd. I need the One True God- My Maker. As for dreams; old ones are resurrected and modified, and many times it's much easier to sit back and live in that unreal world. Reality's too much work! How will it all turn out anyway?! But alas, am an adult; I've got to make something of myself! Or I could just let God make someONE of me...?

Another FB fast

Today I finally got the courage to deactivate my Facebook account. I want to be off indefinitely so I didn't even fix a time limit in my brain. I remember two years back in '11, I went off for two weeks 'cause I realized I'd become obsessed. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check out friends' posts, comment on pictures and inbox my in-a-different-time-zone friend. (I tend to be obsessive that way sometimes)

This time round, I've been getting my full hours of sleep in the night, thank God. But in the day time, with Facebook only a few MBs away on my cell phone, oh man, every hour [maybe even minutes] I've been on that thing like it's food for my soul. And I haven't been following others and stuff I like so much; no. I've been busy keeping my posts up-to-date for my followers. Every thought, joke, question, comment, opinion; if I had it, FB friends had to know about it! You can imagine how frustrated I'd get when I didn't find immediate responses to my mostly well-written and sometimes witty, sometimes inspiring updates!

I was at a sister's wedding about 6 weeks ago and all I kept doing was going to FB to write about it and see what other people were up to. What a puzzling sight I [and my kid brother] must have been to the rest of my relatives; seated there at the table, tinkering away on our cell phones unable to participate in any real conversations for a circumstancial amount of time. Seriously, everybody around me had become an unwelcome distraction to my FB reverie; including the kids!!! It's like am here, but am not. Talk but maybe am not listening 'cause am too busy updating my facebook status. Like I said, I go from normal to obsessive really fast.

Honestly, I knew something was wrong. Something was out of balance. But I enjoy the easy attention FB has to offer. I'm finally a star with my own page, followers and everything! My need for constant companionship is easily and freely met [I carry it around in my pocket/purse]... It's a relationship where I have A LOT to gain and very little, if any, to lose. At least, it beats the hard work of actually sitting down to talk with people; trying to draw them out, being vulnerable face-to-face, spending airtime calling and texting people who are probably too busy and would rather FB you as well. And all the while, this virtual relationship is sucking the life out of my live day-to-day relationships 'cause am too lazy to really pursue people??! Na-ah! I refuse!

So today, on impulse; I deactivated my account. Like I said, am not sure when or if I'll be coming back... But I'm hoping to use this less online time talking to the kids, and other people around. I am going to relearn (ok, maybe just learn) the art of asking questions and watching people-not just the blue phone screen. I will visit, instead of staying couped up in my room with my "compadre virtuoso" (my mexican latin for virtual friend). Now I know there's nothing wrong with FB per say. But I need to get back to the main thing. God and people.

Am throwing out FB, and letting Jesus be my one and only constant companion. Honestly, can anything or anyone ever amount to what I've got with Him?! Our hearts so easily clutch at and cling to what we can see; even when it's not really real. Well, from now on all initial sharing will be with Him. And then I will step out and give myself [time, attention] to the people around me. Yes, I will make those calls and send those texts. Hey, maybe I'll even write some letters! Why? Because people are worth all that, and more. So help me God!

Am I bound by my temperament?

Recently I was doing some personality tests...again. I had done these years earlier and figured out I am san-phleg...i.e my temperaments are predominantly sanguine and phlegmatic. The first time round it was just great to understand my make-up better; a few why questions were answered, to say the least. This time round, I found it to be a bit depressing. Where I had once seen positivity as a great strength, now it seems the erratic, superficial, unreliability of the sanguine personality was all I saw. I am a Children's discipler; my work involves a lot of forming real and deep relationships for the benefit of growth in godliness of the children I minister to. I CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SUPERFICIAL AND UNRELIABLE!!!!!!! Added to that the phlegmatic tendency to be laid-back and lazy... I mean I'm no Apostle Paul but surely...

 

I was worried, for a few hours (which I find is usually how long we sanguines can keep in the downs about stuff). Yet again, Lord; WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! I am clearly not qualified. I don't care enough. I'm easily distracted. I forget easily.I'm not really that into details. I don't look beyond the surface...bla bla bla. Wait! Who am I kidding? If the day comes when I am superbly qualified to do what God has called me to before hand then, I don't know...but it hasn't come yet. So how come am here? Well, God called ME, with all my innate weaknesses,

 

God made ME just the way He wanted to. He designed my likes, dreams, abilities, family, life story. He's been in it all along, and even as I do my own self discovery; I only learn what He already knew was there. He knows my capacity, my capability. So instead of balking at the long list of weaknesses prevalent in my personality type; I could focus on growing my strengths, and allowing the Holy Spirit's discipline in my life to form me into someone more like Christ, I am not bound by what research and studies say about my kind of personality. I can use this knowledge to understand myself and others better, but this is not who I will always be. I am changing, morphing, growing into a personality far greater than any other on this earth. I am becoming the daughter that I was meant to be, BY GOD'S GRACE. :-D